Posts Tagged personal growth
It is Always Darkest Before the Dawn
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in Personal Growth on May 1st, 2010
“I am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean,
a vapor in the wind”
These are the first few lines of the chorus in one of my favorite church hymns. I feel grounded and completely vulnerable when I sing this song. Rightfully so.
Unfortunately, too many people lose sight of what is truly important in life and dwell on their own fear, guilt and resentment. But, Why? What can we stand to benefit from focusing on these things? Does filling our time with negativity, even if it is on a sub-conscious level bear fruit?
Yes, indeed we can and should learn from our mistakes. Yes, we should seek to create a comfortable and safe environment for ourselves and loved ones. Yes, we should learn to forgive and forget. I agree that in order to achieve these things you sometimes experience fear, guilt and resentment; however, life is too short to allow these things to drive your actions and choices, therefore YOU!
When you stand on the beach, with your toes in the warm sand and look out at the vast ocean, how do you feel? When you are sitting on a plane, as it takes off and you look out the window….the cars get smaller and smaller until they begin to resemble ants climbing on an ant hill, how does this make you feel? These are the moments when I reflect on how small my problems truly are.
So, instead of dwelling on negativity we should seek to create positive circumstances for ourselves. When you are behind on bills, don’t sell the recreational vehicle sitting in the garage or the antique which was passed down from your grandmother. Create new income. When you are in poor health, don’t resign to a life of illness. Seek other means of remedy. When you are just plain stuck in a rut, pull yourself out through self-improvement and development. YOU are your own best asset, never forget this!
I understand that this is difficult for most people. Sadly, we would rather hang on to this negativity as if it was a life raft. Because for many people there is comfort and a false sense of safety in that which is familiar.
Recently, I had the privilege of seeing a man speak at a leadership seminar. He is the founder of a successful MLM company in the current market. He used the following analogy which resonated deeply within me. I hope that you can also glean a new understanding of the human psyche from this as well.
“I have a 50 lb. chocolate labrador retriever who loves to play fetch. So, I keep a big bucket of tennis balls on my back deck. Last week I went out to play fetch with him. I pulled one ball from the bucket and bounced it a couple of times on the deck….this got his attention. His tail was wagging and he was ready to play! I threw it out to the back yard, and he ran out to get it. He picked it up and ran it back to me, dropping it at my feet. I picked it up and threw it out again. He ran, picked it up and brought it back. But, this time after he dropped it, I picked it up and it was wet from his saliva. I threw it out in the yard one more time. This time it landed in the flower bed. After rolling around in the dirt it was completely coated, and I was not about to touch this one again. So, as he ran back up to the deck with the dirty ball in his mouth I drew another clean ball out from the bucket. I bounced the new, clean ball a few times before throwing it out into the yard. He took off running to retrieve the new ball. However, when he got to the new ball he realized that he had a dilemma. Of course he realized that he still had the dirty, slimy tennis ball in his mouth. Unsure of what to do and not willing to give up the ball he already had, he laid down next to the new ball that was within reach”
For me, this story perfectly animates how we, as people approach a new situation. I encourage you, if you have an opportunity presented to you, one which may positively impact your current circumstance, help you grow as a person or may just offer a new adventure in your life…..take it! Let go of the life raft and get on board the rescue boat. Leave the dirty tennis ball behind and pick up the new one. Embrace life, because as the song goes:
“I am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean,
a vapor in the wind”
Pour on Positivity
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in General on April 13th, 2010
- Knock Knock
Who’s There?
- You
You Who?
- If you don’t know, then I certainly can’t tell you!
Yes, I did come up with that fantastically cheesy joke all by myself! And, if you know me, you’ll appreciate that’s who I AM! Hopefully at the very least it made you chuckle or put a smile on your face!
So, personal growth. We hear the term all the time, and indeed we should. But, what is it?, how do you achieve it?, and most importantly, is it worth your time?
Many of us have a different understanding or definition of what personal growth is. I’m pretty lax in my definition: any activity, person or experience which assists you in growing as a person (self-awareness, self-knowledge, identity, identifying talents, potentials and dreams). I surveyed my friends on Facebook, and the most comprehensive answer came from Derek Hansen:
“Personal Development is the action that is a result of a realization that life is not just happen-chance but a conscious decision. When one realizes that the life he lives is a result of his thoughts, habits and actions, he begins to work on the internal to achieve the external desired results. This is a conscious decision to work on the subconscious …”
I believe that we constantly are pursuing personal growth, even from a very early age. Sometimes, especially as children, we don’t even realize it. Consider a young pre-teen or teen, struggling to figure out who they are and where they fit in this world. As adults though, I feel it is of the utmost importance to (as Derek would say) make a conscious decision to work on the subconscious.
Think back…when did you begin to “come into your own”? What I mean by this is, at what time in your life did you truly begin to understand who you are, what you like, dislike, your drivers, your passions….when were you comfortable with who YOU are? For some, that moment may not have come yet. And, that’s OKAY!
Many external factors, which we often do not have control over, shape who we become. I consider life a journey, a book if you will. Each chapter being marked by a significant event or personal change. By the end of my life, I hope to have a thousand chapters in my book and I pray that my book is a testimony to a life that was consistently being molded by positivity.
We may not always be in control of our circumstances, but we are all in charge of our attitudes 100% of the time.
Let’s do a quick gut check….
When was the last time you took responsibility for a failed project at work? When was the last time that you laughed instead of cursed when you were stuck in traffic and running late? When was the last time you retaliated with a smile against the person who upset you? When was the last time something didn’t go the way you had expected or wished and instead of getting frustrated, you looked for the silver lining and made the best of what was offered?
Because we don’t control 100% of our circumstances, it is important to take the opportunity to create as many positive situations as possible. It’s like preventive
health for your mind and soul. There are many ways for us to develop ourselves, and guess what….it’s fun! We have a choice to shape who we are. I like to think that we can do and BE whatever we set our minds to.
A few great ways to do this:
- Surround yourself with positive people whom you wish to imitate
- Read positive books
- Listen to positive teachings and music
- Reflect on where you want to be and focus on positive goals
I’m sure that you have begun to see a pattern. The pattern is this: what you put into your mind comes out through your actions. Like your mother used to tell you, “you are what you eat”. The same is true with what you put into your mind. In fact more so. I learned something interesting last week that I want to share with you and I would like you to consider.
I was at VideoPlus University and had the honor of hearing Darren Hardy speak. Darren is the Publisher and Editorial Director of SUCCESS magazine and a leader in the realm of personal growth. He is passionate about this subject and discussed something which I had not considered previously. You will always hear people talk about the importance about blocking out negative in order to change your life for the positive. In fact, it is the premise of many personal growth books; one classic example being, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
Darren asked, “What is your brain’s primary function?”. He went on to explain that the true primary function of our brain is to keep us alive, it is a “survival organ”. This means that we are naturally wary of danger. Our brain seeks any form of a threat, so that we may protect ourselves from it.
I thought to myself….this totally explains why I’m a newsaholic! In today’s media driven society it is difficult to block out every negative influence. With the world at our fingertips, on our mobile devices, in our cars, in our homes we have nearly instant access to negativity-on-demand!
This is why it is more important than ever to pour in the positive! Each one of us are our own best tool, we need to stay sharp! When we choose to develop who we are, we do indeed become our own best asset.
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