Archive for category General
Now Is Your Time
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in Network Marketing, Personal Growth on September 19th, 2010
In my last article, I wrote about the rare time in which we live. In America, we have political freedoms and economic liberty which is not often found in our world. In very few countries can you seek your own success! Isn’t that astounding? I was born and raised in this great country so this is a difficult concept to wrap my mind around.
But consider for a moment, that you have no choice. No choice in education, lifestyle, career, family….no choice at all. You are told what to do, how to do it and when to do it. What must this even feel like! Only imagining it makes my chest tight, my breathing shallow and my head light.
Luckily, we are FREE! Free to make our own decisions, choose our own way and work as hard as we want so that we may be as successful as we dream! I pray that your decision leads you to success and happiness.
Over the last two years my path has slowly branched off from the super-highway that is well paved and easy to travel. I consider this Corporate America with seemingly secure salaries, health benefits and a retirement plan (don’t laugh…chances are your 401k is still tanking too). As, President Truman said, “Recession is when your neighbor loses his job and Depression is when you lose yours”
My new path, the one I find invigorating and filled with excitement is entrepreneurialism. Yes, it has more potholes and more switchbacks. It doesn’t come with a paycheck every two weeks or that not-so-reliable health insurance. But, for me it is like moving to a new city. Knowing that it doesn’t matter what you did yesterday because you get to start over, make a new name for yourself. Only today matters! You know you will be lost for a while, but you will eventually make friends and the city will become home.
Entrepreneurs create jobs all the while pursuing their passion. According to the Small Business Administration, small businesses represent 99.7% of all employment, pay 44% of the total U.S. private payroll and create more than half the private gross domestic product. We fulfill the American dream!
And, great news, there has never been a better time to become an entrepreneur! According to SUCCESS magazines July 2010 issue, at the beginning of the 20th century there were a mere 5,000 millionaires. By 1950 there were 100,000; 1980-1 million; 1990- 2 million! By the year 2000, that number had reached 7 million and today 10 million men and women are millionaires. And, that number is expected to double in the next 10 years. So, now is the time to “hitch your horse to a wagon”!
The team that I’m lucky enough to be a part of is breaking new ground with a proven success system, a life-changing product and an Executive team that will make your head spin! Our leaders are the guys that have “been there, done that”. I can’t speak highly enough of the people I get to work with and learn from daily.
If you are interested in hearing more about what our team is doing and what we stand for, email me at: ashleye@xgopro.com.
Time is our most precious commodity, once it’s gone we can never get it back. What are you doing to make your time work for you?
A Legacy of Love
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in Personal Growth on September 15th, 2010
In my last article, I encouraged you to believe in yourself, to believe that you are worthy of tremendous blessings in life. I know first hand that this is not always as easy as it sounds. There are a thousand reasons why you may not feel worthy….guilt, shame, inadequacy and embarrassment are just a few.
But, consider this: the average life expectancy in 2008 was 68.9 for the entire world, in the US it was 78.4. So, let’s say that you get lucky and live to be 80 years old. When you’re 80 years old and facing the autumn of your life, what do you want to look back on as your accomplishments? What legacy do you want to leave? What do you want your children, your children’s children and their children to find when they search for you?
I want my family to find a great woman. A woman who changed lives and lived to love.
I was taught by a great man that, “empty plates don’t feed people”. This concept helped me to understand that I need to be the best me, in order to help others. I need to raise the bar for those I love, rather than watch them struggle. Not everyone is ready, and that’s okay. However, I’ve found that most people, will do what you ask them to do if they love and respect you. Most people will rise to the occasion when challenged. The time will come, when the people around you realize that they want MORE. More from life and more from themselves.
The unfortunate truth is that we are rarely challenged. We live day to day, seemingly satisfied because we hold a false understanding of security. We are happy because we are not pained with growth. But, change and growth are part of life, and it’s true….it can be painful at times. It may be painful because the ones you love don’t seek success, have no ambition or dreams of their own. They become the crabs in the pot, pulling you down.
I believe that we are the most dynamic generation to date. We are certainly the most informed, the most in touch and the most spoiled. At times it is a curse rather than a blessing to be living now, with so many luxuries – technology, communication and commerce. Sadly, this enables too many of the 25-35 year olds in this country to choose not to step into roles of leadership, of relationship development or even want to look beyond their 9-5 job to a real and growing marketplace. The marketplace is ours to own!
During the Summer Surge Tour, Doug Wead pointed out that the air we breathe here in this country, at this time, is rare. If you take even a brief look at world history, you will find that having the economic freedom and political liberty that we are so very blessed with today in the United States is seldom found. And, when it is discovered it lasts only a short while before being snubbed out.
I cherish the final words which the great President Ronal Reagan left us with during his farewell address:
The past few days when I’ve been at that window upstairs, I’ve thought a bit of the “shining city upon a hill.” The phrase comes from John Winthrop, who wrote it to describe the America he imagined. What he imagined was important because he was an early Pilgrim, an early freedom man. He journeyed here on what today we’d call a little wooden boat; and like the other Pilgrims, he was looking for a home that would be free.
I’ve spoken of the shining city all my political life, but I don’t know if I ever quite communicated what I saw when I said it. But in my mind it was a tall proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, wind-swept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace, a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity, and if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That’s how I saw it and see it still.
I urge you, if you are reading this to consider your legacy. I believe that our most valuable asset is who we are and what we have to offer the world. Once you understand that concept, develop a passion, have a dream and a plan, you can break through any challenge. Rise to the occasion and enjoy the view from the top! If you are a REAL leader and you have a TRUE heart for others, you can show them the way too!! What a legacy you will leave.
Believe
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in Personal Growth on September 14th, 2010
Do you believe in the tooth fairy? How about the Easter Bunny? Santa Claus?
How about this one……do you believe in yourself?
For many of us, self belief is a foreign idea. Something which we struggle with daily. This isn’t surprising when you consider that only 3 in 100 people were raised in a home which encouraged positive personal development. So, what does this mean?
Let me ask you another question. What do you want from life? It’s a silly question and you may think that what you want from life differs vastly from the next person. Or, equally saddening, you may not even KNOW what you want from life. However, if you really think about it, don’t we all want the same things? Don’t we all WANT to be happy, successful, healthy and loved? We’re all not so different after all.
The difference is what are YOU DOING to get these things? And, wouldn’t you agree that in order to be happy, successful, healthy and loved YOU must DO something? I think so.
Let’s go back a step though. In order to ACT upon your desires, would you agree that you have to believe in yourself? Believe that you are worth being happy, successful, healthy and loved?
In 1 Peter 3:3-4 it is written,
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
I love that very last part….. “of great worth in God’s sight”. I believe that God wants all of these things for us. Who am I to argue with Him?! So, my last question to you is this: Why wouldn’t you believe that you are worthy of these gifts? YOU ARE!
Now you are only left to find the vehicle to drive yourself to accomplish these things! It brings to mind a favorite inspirational poem of mine. When I hunger for extra drive, I read this poem, Invictus by William Ernest Henley.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Dig Deep
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in Personal Growth on May 8th, 2010
“Dig Deep”.
I love this term. You hear it over and over again in sports, it is meant to motivate one to find their inner strength and use it to push themselves to success! Recently, I travelled to Las Vegas for the XanGo Thrive Convention. Without much free time at these events, it is tough to squeeze in a workout (which is often my only way to personally release stress and angst). Luckily, my co-worker Whitney, brought a workout DVD from the Insanity series. We plugged it into a laptop and did it right there in the hotel room……WOW!! What a workout it was! This was 40 minutes of pure sweat dripping, heart pounding cardio training. The fitness guru leading the charge on this DVD is Shaun T, and the phrase you hear him using the most is “dig deep”.
This got me thinking. What makes me dig deep when it comes to life, when it comes to driving myself towards success? This is a term which I internally repeat, when I’m having a rough day or when I’m feeling overwhelmed. This internal motivation is what I feel will ultimately push me to success when many people with the same choices or in the same circumstances may throw in the towel.
How would you define leadership? What qualities would you identify in a leader of your choosing?
Before you go on…..quickly think of and write down at least 10 qualities which you look for in a leader. Whether it be a political candidate, military leader, church leader, a CEO, etc. Don’t spend more than 45 seconds on this exercise….write down what comes to mind first.
Here are the 10 that I came up with:
- Driven
- Honest
- Positive Attitude
- Communicates Clearly
- Caring
- Focused
- Leads by Example
- Work Ethic
- Intelligent
- Discernment
Now, take your list and determine which of the following three categories, each of the 10 qualities fall into: Skill, Attitude or Knowledge Based.
- Driven – Attitude
- Honest – Attitude
- Positive Attitude – Attitude
- Communicates Clearly – Skill
- Caring – Attitude
- Focused – Attitude
- Leads by Example – Attitude
- Work Ethic – Attitude
- Intelligent – Knowledge
- Discernment – Knowledge
So, here’s my point….of the 10 leadership qualities which I came up with 7 of 10 were determined by the individual’s attitude. DIG DEEP, RIGHT?! Why do we spend so much time learning a trade and perfecting the skills of that trade? Yet, we so rarely spend time on our own attitude, developing ourselves and seeking personal growth?
My challenge to each one of you, is to pick up a new book this week. Pick a book that will help shape you as a leader and DIG DEEP!
It is Always Darkest Before the Dawn
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in Personal Growth on May 1st, 2010
“I am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean,
a vapor in the wind”
These are the first few lines of the chorus in one of my favorite church hymns. I feel grounded and completely vulnerable when I sing this song. Rightfully so.
Unfortunately, too many people lose sight of what is truly important in life and dwell on their own fear, guilt and resentment. But, Why? What can we stand to benefit from focusing on these things? Does filling our time with negativity, even if it is on a sub-conscious level bear fruit?
Yes, indeed we can and should learn from our mistakes. Yes, we should seek to create a comfortable and safe environment for ourselves and loved ones. Yes, we should learn to forgive and forget. I agree that in order to achieve these things you sometimes experience fear, guilt and resentment; however, life is too short to allow these things to drive your actions and choices, therefore YOU!
When you stand on the beach, with your toes in the warm sand and look out at the vast ocean, how do you feel? When you are sitting on a plane, as it takes off and you look out the window….the cars get smaller and smaller until they begin to resemble ants climbing on an ant hill, how does this make you feel? These are the moments when I reflect on how small my problems truly are.
So, instead of dwelling on negativity we should seek to create positive circumstances for ourselves. When you are behind on bills, don’t sell the recreational vehicle sitting in the garage or the antique which was passed down from your grandmother. Create new income. When you are in poor health, don’t resign to a life of illness. Seek other means of remedy. When you are just plain stuck in a rut, pull yourself out through self-improvement and development. YOU are your own best asset, never forget this!
I understand that this is difficult for most people. Sadly, we would rather hang on to this negativity as if it was a life raft. Because for many people there is comfort and a false sense of safety in that which is familiar.
Recently, I had the privilege of seeing a man speak at a leadership seminar. He is the founder of a successful MLM company in the current market. He used the following analogy which resonated deeply within me. I hope that you can also glean a new understanding of the human psyche from this as well.
“I have a 50 lb. chocolate labrador retriever who loves to play fetch. So, I keep a big bucket of tennis balls on my back deck. Last week I went out to play fetch with him. I pulled one ball from the bucket and bounced it a couple of times on the deck….this got his attention. His tail was wagging and he was ready to play! I threw it out to the back yard, and he ran out to get it. He picked it up and ran it back to me, dropping it at my feet. I picked it up and threw it out again. He ran, picked it up and brought it back. But, this time after he dropped it, I picked it up and it was wet from his saliva. I threw it out in the yard one more time. This time it landed in the flower bed. After rolling around in the dirt it was completely coated, and I was not about to touch this one again. So, as he ran back up to the deck with the dirty ball in his mouth I drew another clean ball out from the bucket. I bounced the new, clean ball a few times before throwing it out into the yard. He took off running to retrieve the new ball. However, when he got to the new ball he realized that he had a dilemma. Of course he realized that he still had the dirty, slimy tennis ball in his mouth. Unsure of what to do and not willing to give up the ball he already had, he laid down next to the new ball that was within reach”
For me, this story perfectly animates how we, as people approach a new situation. I encourage you, if you have an opportunity presented to you, one which may positively impact your current circumstance, help you grow as a person or may just offer a new adventure in your life…..take it! Let go of the life raft and get on board the rescue boat. Leave the dirty tennis ball behind and pick up the new one. Embrace life, because as the song goes:
“I am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean,
a vapor in the wind”
Pour on Positivity
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in General on April 13th, 2010
- Knock Knock
Who’s There?
- You
You Who?
- If you don’t know, then I certainly can’t tell you!
Yes, I did come up with that fantastically cheesy joke all by myself! And, if you know me, you’ll appreciate that’s who I AM! Hopefully at the very least it made you chuckle or put a smile on your face!
So, personal growth. We hear the term all the time, and indeed we should. But, what is it?, how do you achieve it?, and most importantly, is it worth your time?
Many of us have a different understanding or definition of what personal growth is. I’m pretty lax in my definition: any activity, person or experience which assists you in growing as a person (self-awareness, self-knowledge, identity, identifying talents, potentials and dreams). I surveyed my friends on Facebook, and the most comprehensive answer came from Derek Hansen:
“Personal Development is the action that is a result of a realization that life is not just happen-chance but a conscious decision. When one realizes that the life he lives is a result of his thoughts, habits and actions, he begins to work on the internal to achieve the external desired results. This is a conscious decision to work on the subconscious …”
I believe that we constantly are pursuing personal growth, even from a very early age. Sometimes, especially as children, we don’t even realize it. Consider a young pre-teen or teen, struggling to figure out who they are and where they fit in this world. As adults though, I feel it is of the utmost importance to (as Derek would say) make a conscious decision to work on the subconscious.
Think back…when did you begin to “come into your own”? What I mean by this is, at what time in your life did you truly begin to understand who you are, what you like, dislike, your drivers, your passions….when were you comfortable with who YOU are? For some, that moment may not have come yet. And, that’s OKAY!
Many external factors, which we often do not have control over, shape who we become. I consider life a journey, a book if you will. Each chapter being marked by a significant event or personal change. By the end of my life, I hope to have a thousand chapters in my book and I pray that my book is a testimony to a life that was consistently being molded by positivity.
We may not always be in control of our circumstances, but we are all in charge of our attitudes 100% of the time.
Let’s do a quick gut check….
When was the last time you took responsibility for a failed project at work? When was the last time that you laughed instead of cursed when you were stuck in traffic and running late? When was the last time you retaliated with a smile against the person who upset you? When was the last time something didn’t go the way you had expected or wished and instead of getting frustrated, you looked for the silver lining and made the best of what was offered?
Because we don’t control 100% of our circumstances, it is important to take the opportunity to create as many positive situations as possible. It’s like preventive
health for your mind and soul. There are many ways for us to develop ourselves, and guess what….it’s fun! We have a choice to shape who we are. I like to think that we can do and BE whatever we set our minds to.
A few great ways to do this:
- Surround yourself with positive people whom you wish to imitate
- Read positive books
- Listen to positive teachings and music
- Reflect on where you want to be and focus on positive goals
I’m sure that you have begun to see a pattern. The pattern is this: what you put into your mind comes out through your actions. Like your mother used to tell you, “you are what you eat”. The same is true with what you put into your mind. In fact more so. I learned something interesting last week that I want to share with you and I would like you to consider.
I was at VideoPlus University and had the honor of hearing Darren Hardy speak. Darren is the Publisher and Editorial Director of SUCCESS magazine and a leader in the realm of personal growth. He is passionate about this subject and discussed something which I had not considered previously. You will always hear people talk about the importance about blocking out negative in order to change your life for the positive. In fact, it is the premise of many personal growth books; one classic example being, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
Darren asked, “What is your brain’s primary function?”. He went on to explain that the true primary function of our brain is to keep us alive, it is a “survival organ”. This means that we are naturally wary of danger. Our brain seeks any form of a threat, so that we may protect ourselves from it.
I thought to myself….this totally explains why I’m a newsaholic! In today’s media driven society it is difficult to block out every negative influence. With the world at our fingertips, on our mobile devices, in our cars, in our homes we have nearly instant access to negativity-on-demand!
This is why it is more important than ever to pour in the positive! Each one of us are our own best tool, we need to stay sharp! When we choose to develop who we are, we do indeed become our own best asset.
Super Women
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in General on February 7th, 2010
Call me old fashioned but I appreciate a man who holds open a door for me, calls me ma’am and generally takes care of me. Can I do these things myself? Of course I can, but with all the other stresses that life deals a busy woman like myself….it’s the small things that really count.
I’m the kind of person who gives everything I have to the endeavors which I undertake. I was taught at an early age that if you are going to do something, you give it 100%. So in life, I give all that I am to the people, passions and interests which I love.
I work a more than full time job. For those of you who know me, I’m sure you understand this statement. My “job” is a lifestyle. I’m fully invested because I believe with all my heart that what we do will touch and improve thousands of lives. I believe in John Godzich and Doug Wead. I believe in the Network Marketing Industry. I believe in the XanGo products, and most importantly, I believe in THIS opportunity!
I am married to a police officer, and for those of you who have law enforcement officers in your family, I’m sure you can identify with the stresses that come with being a police wife. I inherited three beautiful step-daughters whom we are fortunate to have in our lives regularly. We also have two dogs. I am passionate about taking care of my family, my home, my health….all the while seeking to do so in a balanced manner.
I don’t tell you these things seeking sympathy or kudos. I am not unlike millions of other working women in this country. As written in The Chief Executive in November 2008, “The statistics are sobering. Women hold 50.6 percent of management and professional positions, yet represent just 15.4 percent of Fortune 500 officers and only 2.4 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs. At a time when global competition is intensifying the need for businesses to fully leverage all available talent, the numbers suggest a worrisome disconnect: Women are now well represented in the corporate workforce but simply aren’t advancing to the upper echelons.”
I would argue that women are equally as gifted, intellectual, savvy and respect worthy as men. However, men don’t have the same pressures as a working woman. Many women who work outside of the home are still expected to work their “full-time home job” as well. This is a difficult decision to face for many young women who are looking towards their future.
How do we encourage young women to sort through these tough feelings. Sometimes they are fear, self-doubt, uncertainty; and other times they are ambition, excitement, and confidence. I would say this to my own children: God has uniquely designed you. He has determined and given you a gift. It is up to you to discover, nourish and apply your gift.
I love how Sarah Palin addressed this issue in her book, Going Rogue. As a Mayor, she was invited to give high school commencement speeches, and she would say to young adults, “What gets you excited to wake up in the morning? What is the desire of your heart? God put those in you not to tease or frustrate you – He created them in you to give you direction! To put you on the right path- He bridles your passion! So stop and think about what you love to do, then look for signposts along the way that confirm you’re on the right path to doing that – doors opening, people with your best interests at heart supporting what you’re doing.”
Doors will open, opportunities will present themselves….not without challenge, but we are strong enough to overcome these challenges. Trust in God. Follow your instincts, your passions. Accept your strengths and weaknesses. Work hard and believe in yourself!
A Friend
Posted by Ashley Ellefsen in General on September 27th, 2009
This weekend I reconnected with an old friend. This young woman hasn’t had a particularly easy go at life. Having already overcome many struggles at a young age, she is a single mother working two jobs to provide for herself and her daughter. And now, she finds herself trying to cope with the diagnosis of her father with Lou Gehrig’s disease. While the bond with her father now grows into a close friendship, her closest friend took a different path.
Friendship is a fascinating concept.
To desire relationships with people whom we have commonalities, is undeniably written into our human nature. How is friendship defined? How is a friendship maintained? How does one go from stranger to acquaintance to friend to best friend?
King Solomon says, “A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” While Webster defines a friend as, “a favored companion”.
Each of us has a standard by which we measure friendships and relationships. Mine tend to be like everything else in my life….very tough, black and white…not much room for error. Am I right? Am I wrong? Who decides?
Do I love, appreciate and enjoy all of the people who are a part of my life? Of course! As someone in her Christian walk, I am called to love my neighbor as myself. Do I try to learn and grow from each of the experiences which I encounter with these people? Of course! I feel a personal calling to improve myself and seek personal growth at all times.
But a tough part of life is having to make choices. Who we choose to surround ourselves with will ultimately shape who we become. The same way that what we read, what we watch, what we listen to, our daily activities and even what we eat…shapes who we become.
The most freeing aspect is that we have the power to CHANGE!
Many of us have been pre-conditioned since we were children to do certain things, believe certain ideas and become a certain type of person. When you are not happy with whom you have become, what do you do?
Until recently, I would have considered myself a “sulker”. The type of person who isn’t always happy, but doesn’t necessarily want to take the steps to initiate change. Change is difficult because we all know that growth hurts. John Maxwell says, “If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.”
So, what is friendship? Defining the differences between an acquaintance and friend is not a simple task.
Is it a chance meeting? How are we introduced? And how do we choose? Will this person remain a mere acquaintance or is this someone whom I want to know and befriend? Is this acquaintance a casual friend…someone I know by name or association, but not someone I spend time with regularly and not someone with whom I seek a relationship? If I see them, I will make eye contact, smile, say hi and move on. Acquaintances are common, finding their way in and out of one’s life. While an acquaintance will always get a handshake, a friend is gets a hug.
What about the leap from acquaintance to a friend? This is where relationships begin to form. I would say that a friend is someone I have a connection with. We have something that transcends a commonality. It’s never awkward to run into this friend, we always have something to talk about. We spend time together and we enjoy one another’s company.
Best friends are often greeted with a hug and a kiss and when parting ways, you can even hear “I love you”. Best friends are rare; do I have high standards? A best friend is someone who does not drain you of your time or resources. A best friend is someone whom you can call upon in times of need, and will always respond. A best friend is someone who makes you better.
As I reflect on all of the relationships I have, I can only come up with a few best friends. I value each and every one of those best friends more than ever when I think about what they really mean to me. The way to hold onto friendship…return the favor. I just hope I return the favor.
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